I must preface this list, by saying I love my dogs beyond all measure. Darby Crash is the best dog I've ever had. He was named by Jim Keck Howes after a degenerate punk rocker of the 70s. And like that punker, he has a wild side. Here's the list of things Darby has chewed, torn up or otherwise destroyed over the years. A previous dog Charley taught him how and is no longer with us (also a beloved dog): 1, 2 computer cords belonging to a former partner 2. 3 cellphones 3. approximately 38 of Ed Simpson's books 4. 5 or 6 of my boooks 5. 2 library books from Wood County Library 6. the pocket of a brand new Columbia jacket (The same sewer replaced that for me 8. 15-20 ink pens (if he can't find them on the floor, he gets them off the table) 9. a $400 Pendleton Mills blanket given me by a former partner 10. any Guideposts magazines he gets off my nightstand (approximately 15) 11. a guitar case 12. the mattress pad on my bed 13. the sleeve of my Cal State Fullerton sweatshirt 14. several Christmas ornaments 15. two brand new Spitfire skateboard wheels I'm sure I'm forgetting many things. Fortunately he doesn't ingest these things.